Friday, May 10, 2013

The Woes of a Single Mom

I know it's been a while, but for now, here is a collection of my current thoughts as Mother's Day is approaching.

By May 12th, Mother's Day, I am celebrating being a {single}mom for two years. It's really unbelievable that I've made it this far, but fulfilling and wonderful at the same time. For those who are new to my blog, or never knew, I've been a single mom ever since my BabyLove was born. She was born without a father in her life to start with. But, she is not loved any lesser than any child with both parents in their life.

Generally, we instantly know that being a single mom is tough. I am pretty sure that during my younger years, just the thought of raising a child alone scared me. Working to provide their needs, having to take all the responsibility, staying up late all night since there's no one else to take over your place even if you're dead-tired, and your little darling baby is crying and wants to be held in your arms. Yes, I've experienced falling asleep on the sofa, with my little BabyLove held tight in my arms, because my eyes couldn't stay awake any longer. But, not everybody know that it's more to that when you're a single mom.

In just 2 years, I've learned so much. Aside from the lessons on how to change diapers and give your baby a bath, I've learned that my little girl is always the top of my priority. I've always had a low tolerance with pain. A simple headache would instantly bother me, what more when I get excruciatingly painful migraines. Now, unless I have a migraine, a simple headache can't be a reason for me not to work, not to change BabyLove's diaper and everything else a mom needs to do. The same situation goes for when I get sick and suffer from colds and fever. Aside from that, there are many other lessons I have definitely learned, but for this to be less boring, I'll be moving on...

A lot may not know that raising a child can be emotionally draining (at least in my case). Raising a child alone is very different, in SO MANY ways, than raising them with a partner. Not a lot understand this, and honestly, not even family may understand EVERYTHING there is to being a single parent. Don't get me wrong, my family has been ever so supportive of me, helping me in any way they can, financially, physically, mentally and emotionally. But, then again, I grew up with a complete family, and Mama and Papa were hand in hand when it comes to raising us. Which makes it different from how I am raising BabyLove, as I am mostly the only one in-charge of raising her, and that part they may not still completely understand.

**Note: This is for every other single parent. And if you find that you relate to this part, know you are not alone. This applies to everyone else who "overlooked" our situation as a single mom**

  • For times when a child of single parent gets on your nerves, try to hold it in. In my case, when I am doing chores or cooking, I couldn't watch my daughter at all times, it gets frustrating when anybody loses their patience, and tells her to come back to me. She'd come out crying, and I am frustrated whether I'd leave cooking or washing dishes. Because, if I do, lunch or dinner will be delayed.
    If only I could hire someone to do the watching or chores of me, I would. But, I am not financially able to hire someone to do these things. 
  • For when you come in my room and find it messy, it does not mean I am neglecting it. After spending two hours of cleaning, it takes just 5 minutes for a toddler to get everything messy again. Trust me, it's more frustrating on my end, and there's nothing I could do but let it be for the meantime, as I also have to work, being a freelance worker and working online*.
*I choose to work online for 2 main reasons. One, I want to be hands-on with my BabyLove, as much as I can! Working online allows me to work and watch over her at the same time. Two, leaving her to a complete stranger scares me. Watching the news of nannies hurting children scares the HELL out of me! No way I am leaving her to some stranger, at least while my daughter isn't capable of relaying to me if she's been treated nicely or not.

I was always said to be a strong person. I am, but, no one knows of my silent cries (until now). I hate showing that I'm weak. I try to handle things as much as I can, because if I don't, I'm going to lose it, and I'm the only one BabyLove has to lean to. Sometimes, it just hits me hard, and normally, I'd do my crying when no one sees. 

And when I hit rock bottom, it's only Him who comforts me completely. He has never let me down. When I needed, He provided. When I was in extreme difficulty, I offered all my sufferings to Him. And for two years, I've always had my prayers answered. I've lost friends (LOTS of them) 'cause they never understood me. But, He made me understand that it wasn't a reason for me to give up. And, I always thank Him forgiving me such loving people around me, both family and relatives, and friends I could count on the fingers of my hands.

Sorry for such a length-y post. Sorry if it wasn't a well-written post that's "bestselling author"-worthy. LoL! I just wanted to take time to reflect and, hopefully, make people understand that it is TOUGH to be a single parent. But, it shouldn't be a reason to give up at all costs. I am happy to be enjoying all the love and happiness my daughter gives, and not having to share it. I get ALL of it! :)

To all single moms like myself, I salute you for being so great! 

To my Mama, thanks for everything! No words can completely explain how thankful I am for you. 

And for all the moms out there, Happy Mother's Day! :)

'Til my next post....

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